The Story

Well, I didn't complete my story Monday night. I knew I wouldn't as there may be some or many things to correct/re-work once submitted, but my goal was to have a solid story ready, instead of the mostly pages full of point form notes that it was at the time.

I won't hit myself too hard over the head though. I did accomplish alot and tonight, I did put the final touches on my story and send it out. Just 2 minutes ago to be precise. (It's now 1:05am).

I need to go to sleep, but I will talk more about my inner journey, including a conversation I had with a dear friend about my first post.

I will sleep sound tonight knowing I have taken a big step at finishing something I started.

This project wasn't about taking on too much though. It was about following something my heart told me I had to take on. A challenge and an opportunity that if nothing else, would teach me something very important about myself. And it has.

Procrastinating

It has been a long time since I have visited my blog, but tonight I need to set down to writing.

I could throw a million excuses into the air, and I will. New baby, no sleep, a two year old, the loss of a dear friend, adopting a new friend, work, family committments, yada, yada, yada.

All valid excuses. Bottom line, I take on too many things. I have a hard time saying no to people. It is a weekness of mine, but the creation of the Lawrence Thomas pseudonym was about change. It was about finishing what I started, about new beginnings. About finding passion in the one part of my life where it was missing. And an important part I would say as 40 hours of my week is dedicated to that piece of me. More than that if you count the stress that follows me home many days.

I am proud of my name, proud of who I am and where I come from. Proud of my family and what I have accomplished in my 35 years. Regrets, we all have them but I also know there is nothing we can do about the past. We can change the future and try to right those mistakes, and Lawrence Thomas is simply about that. Lawrence Thomas is still a husband, a father, a writer, and someone who loves people and animals and the earth he resides on, but Lawrence Thomas is not affraid. Affraid of his dreams, and his fears. This change was about making a change. To stop complaining about what I am not happy about, and to start working at trying to be happier - more content, and none of that has to do with family or friendships or any personal part of my life. It all has to do with wanting more. Not more money, not fancy cars or a million dollar home, but to have passion in every aspect of my life.

Maybe that passion lies in my current job somewhere? Maybe it exists in my writing or in my art, or maybe I simply have not yet found that passion for all I know?

***

Today, I am writing about someone who inspires me; Who is living his dream. Someone who has found passion through compassion.

To me, it is not enough to be successful. I need to find that success and know I am genuinely making a difference in life. First and formost, I want to make a difference in my own families lives. My family and friends are what is most important to me. Even though I may not see many of them for months on end, there are few days that go by where I don't think about them. Facebook has become a good way to keep in touch, but for those that are either not on here, or don't frequent this space as much as I do, I lose touch for months on end. I guess it's a guy thing. I am not the best with the phone. I haven't liked talking on them since my teen years when I would lye in bed for hours with one stuck to my ear while my love interest and I would listen to one another breath for hours on end.

My wife, my children, my parents, sister, grandparents, friends, dog, cat ... I am very lucky to have the best of every world there, but is that enough if one does not have passion in the thing he choses to make his every day?

How can one have everything; a new car, a nice home, great neighbors (for the most part), a wonderful family, great friends, and a job many would give their left arm to have, and yet still have something missing? I feel so ingratefull. So spoiled, and perhaps I am. I know I am. I know what I want. Is that a bad thing? If what I wanted was a red lamborgini and a mansion and un yaht, ya, I would say I was greedy. But all I want, is passion.

I wouldn't trade my family in for anything. My life for that matter, but professionally, I need to figure out what it is that I am not happy with, and fix it, or move on.

This journey may take a little while, but it's time to stop wandering around aimlessly with my thoughts, and do something about it. Starting with finishing something I started a long time ago - tonight.

So as the sun sets over the autum trees that surround my backyard, and my puppy starts to tire from chasing her own tail and chewing sticks, so my inner mission begins.

Details. Details. Details.

When I finally went up to bed last night, Emma was fussing a little bit so I snuggled in beside her. She sleeps with a night light on so it is fairly bright in there at night. She was asleep for the most part, but I whispered in her ear as we snuggled anyway.

"You have a new baby sister Emma. Tomorrow you get to meet the new baby. "She cuddled into me, and fell into a deep sleep.

I laid there for a few more minutes imagining life with the two girls. It was exciting, and scary at the same time but it wouldn't be long until momma and baby were home and the fun began.


Emma slept in to just before 8am which was good. When she snuck into our bedroom like she does now that she is in her big girl bed, I told her again all about the new baby and that she was now a big sister!

"Baby?" she asked.

"Yup. Baby," I replied with a smile.

We got dressed and had a bite to eat and we were on our way just before nine to meet her new sibling.

It went well. We placed the baby crib on wheels to the side so Eva and Emma could have a few minutes alone, and then Eva asked Emma to look across the room. "Is there a baby over there" she asked her."

"BABY! she exclaimed as she opened her arms to hold her.

She was a little excitable and the gentle thing we are going to have to work on, but she did well. Eva had bought her a new barbie to distract her so once we opened up Emma's present, it was all about the Barbie. I think we spent the remainder of the morning looking for missing shoes and brushes and princess crowns.

Oh no. I am going to be surrounded by dolls and pinks and purples and tea parties and .... Anyone want to watch some football? :)

We headed home around lunch for a bite to eat and a nap, and by 6pm we were back at the hospital. Papa, Nana, and auntie Ber were there this time. It was also time to finally name this little bundle once and for all.

"Abby." It was a name we thought of near the end when we realized this baby was coming sooner than later. I wasn't sure but Emma and Abby seem to go together well. And I am sure they will for many years to come.

Well, I think it's time for an early night tonight. Tomorrow mommy and baby come home and our new life as a family of 6 begins. (we can never forget Tara (Dog) and Teddy (Cat) too. :)

Oh, and Abby was born around 8:30pm on August 11th, weighing in at 7lbs, 14oz. With everything that was going on, I never seen the official time of birth. I know it is pretty close.

Thanks to everyone for all the well wishes. We'll talk soon as we get settled in.

Cheers,
Larry.

Here is a link to a name I had pondered. I forgot a friend named his girl this, and another good friend used this name as a middle name. I had heard this song a month or so ago, and it sounded so pretty. I like Abby too. Her initials are AR. I guess she gets an album now instead of a song. :) It just so happens to be my all time favorite album so that works too.

Abby Rose Pattison. I think I like it.

It's time

It wasn't long after that second epidural, that my wife decided it was time to push - much to everyone, including the nurses, surprise. There were no doctors around, but everyone agreed it was time.

It was all a blur. After a 24 hour (3 hours of hard labour), first pregnancy, this all seemed all too surreal. It was coming and no sooner had she pushed, there was the baby's head. They say the second time could be easier, and although it had been a painful last hour and these contractions certainly didn't look like a walk in the park, this was going much more smoothly.

No suction cups or threats of forceps or c-sections. It was coming and there was no turning back.

Half-hour. That's all it could have been? And there it was. Our new little baby ....

Well, I'll leave it at that for tonight. Here is a photo of the new addition to our family. I'll add some color and share the name tomorrow. We are still undecided at this time.

I need some sleep! Emma will be up before I know it!

I can't wait to see her with her new ... Baby brother or sister. ;)

The waiting game

Shortly after the last post, seeing as though not much seemed to be happening, I took a dinner break.

The pitosen was in and we were up to a 10 on the dosage scale. The contractions were there, but my wife says they are nothing too spectacular. I have lost all sense of time, but they start off at a level of two, and go up 2 every half hour so you'll have to do the math.

By the time I finished the last post at dinner time, my sister came in to say Eva was in considerably more pain, and they had put the epdiral in. Here is a link for some background and visuals on epidurals. Yuk! I give my wife lots of credit. I hate needles, never mind one in the back. Hey, I guess if it gets rid of the pain.

I missed the first epidural, but by the time I got back to the room my wife looked like she was in a hundred times more pain than she was when I left the room an hour before.

I wasn't in the room long, before they decided to try a second time as the pain wasn't subsiding. After the second one, it still seemed like the pain was getting worse before it got better.

This time around was much different in many ways.

It's around 7:45pm.

Play Song

Walking the halls

The waiting is the worst. We have to stop in the room every half hour for a mini checkup, but other than that we just wonder these halls. You can only admire the pictures on the walls, read the signs, nod at the nurses as you walk past the nurses station. Round, and round, and round. We stopped in to see our guests patiently waiting in the waiting room from time to time, but mostly, we just circled the halls immediately outside Eva's room.

There really seemed to be nothing happening. My wife could feel the contractions but it seemed just a little pressure more than anything else.

"Shhhh...." my wife paused for a mment outside another birthing room down the hall. I listened, confused at what we were stopping for. "Push a little harder," is all I could hear outside some dreadfull sounds of pain.

Eva looked worried. She knew her time was coming soon. She was actually hoping for pain as she seen another woman and her husband walking the halls. She was in a considerable amount of discomfort it seemed.

My wife sounded a bit like a masochist, but as the saying goes, no pain ...

The waiting game

Well, it’s 3:07pm. We have been here for about an hour. The IV is in, and the process is under way. There isn’t much to report yet. I am sitting in the waiting room with my brother-in-law, while my sister and our doula hang out with my wife for a bit.

We are watching Mrs. Doubtfire. Well, I am more listening as I putter around in search of the baby thoughts within.

This time around is certainly more relaxed. At least for me. My wife doesn’t like knowing what is coming, as compared to suddenly going into labour and it just happening on its own.

It was strange us all walking into the hospital together. We were all much more prepared than last time. Portable DVD players, laptops, books, art supplies, writing materials. Everyone seemed to remember a few things that they wished they would have brought last time when we spent 24 hours together. My parents were here last time as well, but this time they are picking up our daughter from daycare, feeding her supper, and putting her to bed.

My sister is going to stay with Emma tonight should the baby still be unborn. Otherwise, she will be staying at the hospital with my wife overnight, and I will be on Emma duty.

We are all hoping this won’t be a birthing marathon the second time around.

Well, one thing is for certain. We are here until the baby is born. There will be no going home to wait for the water to break or the contractions to be closer together. The doctors will be doing what they do to make sure sometime in the next 24 hours, there will be another baby in the family.

It's my turn in the room so I will sign off for now.

Visions of babies in my head

Well, this is certainly a change from my ABNFF posts, but I am sure baby P will work it's way into my next A Beautiful Night for Football story.

It is hard to believe that it's been two years since our first child was born. Two years this September 5th to be exact.

I find myself nervous for different reasons the second time around. Sometimes knowing what you are in for is harder than not knowing. On one hand, we are older and wiser and have some clue as to what we are doing this time. On the other, we have no idea what it's like to have two children in toe.

I was telling my wife the other day, that I forget how to make bottles. She laughed and admitted she forgets so many of those little things too. Then I was in the grocery store the other day and happened to pass some baby formula. It looked all too familiar, but I couldn't tell you which ones we used? Was it that long ago? Not really, but it seems like it. Luckily, we have a few months before we have to worry about what formula to buy.

It is a little scary starting over. Our almost two year-old has been in a big girl bed for a few months now, we are starting the fun process of potty training, and she has been sleeping through the night forever (aside from night terrors every once in awhile and sore teeth). I hardly remember her crawling or not talking either.

She is a typical little girl already. Loves to talk on the phone and carry a purse and talk on her princess phone. Our house is filled with pinks and purples and so many other girly things like dolls and pink tables and chairs and pink umbrellas and rain coats and boots. We certainly need a boy to ballance things out, but of course, healthy is most important.

When I stared writing down these thoughts, my wife and I were in a birthing room that I swear was the same one Emma was born in. My wife all strapped in and wired for sound as they monitored momma and baby for an hour before they sent us home to wait some more.

Mostly, I just sat and watched the heart monitor and the odd contractions and the patterns heart rates and baby kicking and contractions all produced on the little piece of paper that started to make it's way to the floor.

Bump. Bump. Thump. Thump. Bdump. Bdump.

My wife was suffering from a self induced headache from a whack on the basement ceiling, so she asked the nurse to turn the sounds off on the baby monitor. I continued to watch the mute screen still on and off as I wrote down these thoughts.

It's exciting that we are back at this point again. It is all familiar, but still new at the same time. This time though, tere is someone else patiently awaiting the babies arrival. Not that a two year old totally grasps the concept of becoming a big sister, but I know my wife and I were looking forward to seeing Emma with her new little sibling. We already knew from her reaction to other peoples babies, that she already had that motherly instict. There would surely be a little jealousy, but in the end, we knew this would an exciting time for her too.

The last contraction was 50. 30 is the average. I am not sure what any of that means, but it's like a song sheet with the tempo going out of control every once in awhile. By the time our first was born, we knew what all the contraptions and gadgets were for and what everything meant. I couldn't tell you much about what we learned the first time around. I knew it would come back to me tomorrow when I sat for hours upoon hours awaiting the arrival of our little one.

I know I wanted to make a list so I would remember all the things I wish I would have done before or brought with me to the hospital, but like everything else, I forgot about that until just now. The main thing, and most important, that I remembered was to get lots of sleep the nights prior to birth. I hadn't slept in 48 hours by the time Emma was born, so needless to say I was exhausted! I had the bright idea of entering a 3 day labor day weekend novel writing contest. The story was about becoming a daddy, and quite fittingly, my wife went into labor on labor day and the story was left unfinished. In the end, it just wouldn't have been as strong a story without the ending consisting of the little gaffer entering this world.


It's like learning to ride a bike all over again. Although what am I talking about. I am not the one giving birth. The thought of sleepless nights and feedings every so many hours. Boiling bottles and soothers and vibrating chairs and jumpy swings in the doorway. Eat. Poop. Sleep. Poop. Sleep. Eat. .... I know like the first time around, it will all come back to us quickly and we'll be in a routine by the time I go back to work. I only hope what we learned the first time around, will make the second time go smoothly.

There is something very special about the second too that makes it equally as thrilling as the first. At least for us anyway. That is the fact that we know this is the last pregnancy. The last birth. The last time we will be parents of a little being. Little toes. Little fingers. Little sounds. The last time we'll see first crawls and first steps.

I find myself thinking about how I need to cherish every single moment that I may not have cherished before. Even early morning feeding, because when the first three months are over and the baby is sleeping through the night and it all starts to get easier and easier (not that I know how easy or hard it's going to get because our other child is only 2), I have to remind myself that this is it. This will all be over sooner than I know it, and when the time is gone, although part of me will enjoy sleeping again and not walking around like a zombie and poopy diapers, I know a part of me will be sad that it is all over. Sad when my baby is walking and talking with a cute little personalitiy of it's own, and the googoo and gaga's will just be distance sounds that seem so long ago. You can record them and take pictures and video tape them, but you can never duplicate the moment or the true feelings those moments brought.

It's 12:42. I have come and gone back to writing this a few times this morning. We will be leaving soon. We are to be at the hospital by 2pm. I'll bring my laptop and possibly do some more writing, but my next post may actually be after birth. We'll see how the day plays out anyway. I don't know that they have wi-fi at the hospital? Probably a good thing if they don't. It's actually nice to write in a journal from time to time, instead of at a computer screen.

Wish us luck. Boy or girl? Leave a comment and let us know what you think. And baby names .... any ideas? We have pondered Abigail, Grace, Cole, and we actually threw in Finn. It's kind of different, but I don't know about that one. I like Ethan, but I haven't been able to convince my wife of that one. Names are hard!

Some of you already know what we are having. I'd like to know who knows. :) Not that I mind. I just didn't want to know myself. It's weird knowing that so many of you know the sex, and I am left in the dark. I think it's a girl, but time will tell. :)

Cheers,
Larry.

On being a daddy - the second time around

We got word Thursday afternoon that my wife (Eva), had Obsetric Cholestasis (OC). She had been suffering from severe itching, and finally after some testing, it was confirmed that she had developed this condition.

It isn't very common, but it is a complication that can occur during pregnancy. OC is not usually serious, and there is no conclusive studies that prove that this condition poses any real threat to the mother or baby, but the practice now is to deliver the baby around 37 weeks as a precautionary measure.

The risks for the baby are believed to be a slightly higher chance it will be stillborn. The normal risks of a stillbirth are 1 out of 100, and it is believed that OC increases that risk slightly but again, this hasn't been proven.

The risk to the mother is serious bleeding in the womb after birth, but once again it isn't clear whether OC and the severe bleeding are associated. Because of the possibility of serious bleeding, the mother is treated with high does of vitamin K - but this treatment follows all births.

So what does this all mean to us? A lot of reading and that added fear of the above noted complications - and inducing my wife early. The due date wasn't actually until the 28th of August.

The practice of inducing labor because the mother has developed OC is actually under review, but for now, we will be among the rare few who are induced early after what seemed a normal, healthy 9 months of pregnancy, because of the fears that are currently associated with OC.


Friday we were sent for some tests (well my wife was), just to make sure mommy and baby were healthy. Should there have been any cause for concern, my wife would have been admitted and induced right away. Otherwise, she was scheduled for this sunday to start the process.

I won't go into any gorey details about yesterday afternoons procedure. It was actually quick and painless. Although it is rare that this procedure causes a mother to go into labor, there is that chance. Bottom line, it is just getting momma and baby ready for the big day. And that day is today.


It is 10:49 in the morning. My wife is supposed to be going for blood tests before she is induced. At this rate, she is going to give birth at some god aweful time in the morning. :( They should be calling soon???? Arghhhh....

So, while my wife takes our daughter to daycare for the day, and I wait for the phone to ring, I thought I would post some thoughts on my blog. When our first child was born, Emma, I actually blogged for a couple of days before it all happened. I only have hours this time before baby number two is born, but I'll get in what blogging I can.

If the phone rings soon, this will be my only pre-birth post. :)

A Beautiful Night for Football - Canadian football at 900KHz

Oskee wee wee indeed!!! What an amazing game in Tiger Town last night. Nice to get a win, and a win at home to boot! That game should spark a sold out labor day crowd!

This weeks story "Radio Somewhere - Canadian Football at 900KHz, is now available at www.abeautifulnightforfotball.com.

You can now also find us 21 characters lighter at www.abnff.com.

Enjoy.
Larry.

A Beautiful Night for Football - A Call to the Media to Inspire

With the birth of ABeautifulNightforFootball.com, my blog has all but been forgotten the past couple of weeks.

Things are heating up with the website. Photos are coming in from all over Canada, everyone is excited about the ABNFF project, and football fans are offering various services to help make this project a success.

There is still so much to do with the website, but keep checking back as I constantly work to make the site something you'll want to check out every day.

I have photographs from every CFL city except for Calgary now, so stay tuned for links to the remaining cities. I am hoping to have some photographs from last nights thriller in Calgary soon as well.

For now, please visit www.abeautifulnightforfootball.com for this weeks story.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend.
Larry.

A Beautiful Night for Football (Part III) – A New Generation

Happy hump day everyone.

As promised, part three in the ABNFF series is now available. Click here for a fun filled account of my little girls first football game. Enjoy.

Thanks again to Marg and Bill and all of section 30B, for making Emma's first experience a memorable one.

I will be adding photos soon.

LP